I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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