One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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