i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize