She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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