sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
