I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
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