Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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