I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
This baby is an asshole
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
