he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
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I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
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I need a burrito and a hug.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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