Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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