Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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