Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
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I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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