You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize