I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
