And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
