My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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