How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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