Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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