he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
