What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
