did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
