dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
