I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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