Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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