I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
