Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
