I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
