Whoa Z and x make the same sound
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
