Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
