Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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