He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
BRING THE BAGELS
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
