So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
