I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
