this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
