69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize