I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
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