just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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