Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Randomize