so that wasnt chicken after all
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
