I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
