Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
