Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
