I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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