If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
