Where is the hickey?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
