My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
