If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
