You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
