it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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