Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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