and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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