Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
