Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
he's gonorrhea incarnate
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
