You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
