Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
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