so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
