I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
