She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
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You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
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When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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