Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
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