bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
