I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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