Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
