I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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