i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I touched a dick in church today
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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